Thursday, 9 July 2015

THE MOST Disturbing Kids TV Show of all Time



Brad
So it's #ThrowBackThursday and I was trying to think of posts to do for it.

I was casually listening to my mp3 player at work when I came across tv theme tunes for the umpteenth time and had an epiphany

This particular track told a story, once explained can never be resealed back into the vaults of time, this WILL ruin your childhood

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!

So with that in mind I take a look at THE most disturbing kids tv show...

 OF ALL TIME!!!



Rocko's Modern Life was filled with all kinds of adult jokes, including Rocko working at a sex phone line, a restaurant called "Chokey Chicken" and his lonely neighbour Mrs Bighead, who totally wanted to have this dingoes babies

But disturbing?

No...




Ren and Stimpy was full of cringeworthy moments, including an obsession with puckered nipples, a bug eating Ren and Stimpys brains, a baby fart who leaves home and that *horrible* moment above

But disturbing?

Not as much as ...

MUPPET BABIES!!!

Listen to this first, notice how fun and upbeat it is?




So yeah, I was listening to the Muppet Babies theme tune and I realised just how disturbing it is, I'll explain with a lyric breakdown


  • When your world looks kinda weird and you wish that you weren't there 
Why would Muppets, who are known for their happiness wish they weren't part of the world? What could Kermit have possibly seen to come out with such a statement?


  • Just close your eyes and make believe and you can be anywhere 
This statement from Miss Piggy is pure and innocent on it's own, but taken with the next part is downright disturbing



  • Kermit: I like adventure 
  • Piggy: I like romance 
  • Fozzie: I love great jokes 
  • Animal: Animal dance!! 
  • Scooter: I've got my computer 
  • Skeeter: I swing through the air 
  • Rowlf: I play the piano 
  • Gonzo: And I have blue hair 
  • Bunsen: Me, I invent things 
  • Beaker: Mee mee mee meee! 
Why is that disturbing you say? They're only listing things that those Muppet characters are known for, but let's go back a second


  • Just close your eyes and make believe and you can be anywhere 

They are wishing for things that they dont have, why would that be?


  • Piggy: I like romance 

Piggy is wishing for Romance here, and with the addition of the line

  • Just close your eyes and make believe and you can be anywhere 

Miss Piggy is wishing for Romance because she is, well I won't come out and say it, she's yearning for any kind of love instead of what she is being forced to do

Wait...

So who is doing this then?

  • Nanny: Is everything all right in here? 
  • All: Yes, Nanny. 

"Nanny" is constantly coming in to check on them, and they all answer in unison, they are in fear of "The Carer"

In fact why aren't we seeing more Muppets than the characters in the opening?

Because "Nanny" is only in charge of this small camp of Muppets.

Yes...

Emphasis on CAMP...

  • Fozzie: I love great jokes 

Why would Fozzy be wishing for jokes? Because he can't tell them, the person in charge sewed his mouth shut

  • Animal: Animal dance!! 

Why would a Muppet famed for his drumming not wishing for Drums or Drumsticks?

Because he just wants to dance, he can't because they broke his legs!

  • Scooter: I've got my computer 

Scooter is the geek of the Muppets, and yeah he would wish to use a computer, but the thing is, the one thing...well two things you would most need to use a computer would be your eyes


  • Skeeter: I swing through the air 

Skeeter is wishing for the freedom of the outside, much better than the lockbox that "Nanny" put her in for being insubordinate

  • Rowlf: I play the piano 

They cut off his hands

  • Gonzo: And I have blue hair 

The only reason that Gonzo would wish for blue hair is if they removed all his hair,  in perhaps say a concentration camp

  • Bunsen: Me, I invent things 

The most jewish character of the Muppets. Yes this is where I am going with this. 

 I have listened to the Muppet Babies theme countless of times and every single time I have not been able to get what he says, only looking up the lyrics online do I see this line. 

But there's a reason his voice sounds so muffled

  • Beaker: Mee mee mee meee! 

Beaker doesn't normally sound like this, his Mee Mee's are calm. This sounds like a young child screaming after his friend that is being dragged to the gas chambers



  • Nanny: Is everything all right in here? 
  • All: Yes, Nanny. 

See?

Disturbing

Or maybe I'm just reading too much into it?

Let us know in the comments or on Facebook and Twitter



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