Monday, 17 August 2015

5 Times My Mum Was Cutting Onions When I Was Trying to Watch a Movie

My mum is always cutting onions and preparing dinner when I try to watch certain movies

I dunno why she does it, it's always at the same point too, it's like she does it deliberately

There are some total spoilers in this so be forewarned now 

Lets take a look at some of them now shall we?

#5 - My Girl

So in My Girl Macauley Culkin dies, told you there would be spoilers...

Tomboy Vada is surrounded by death, her mother died during childbirth and her Dad, Dan Ackroyd operates a funeral home but it isn't until a young boy she befriends dies from an attack of the bees that she finally deals with death

He needs his glasses...oh god damn it mum stop preparing dinner

What was my mum preparing?

Sausage and onion hash with eggs


Preparation method

  1. Heat the oil in a large pan. Add the butter and skinned sausages and cook for a few minutes, stirring to ensure all the meat browns.
  2. Add the onion to the pan.
  3. Grate the potato including the skin and squeeze over the sink to remove any moisture.
  4. Add the potato to the pan.
  5. When the pan ingredients are cooked, crack the eggs into the pan. Serve.

#4 - The Notebook

James Garner has been telling somebody in hospital a story about how he got together with this really lovely girl, it's a love story full of twists and turns

Eventually we find out that the woman he has been telling the story is the girl in the story and now his wife.

She is in hospital with senile dementia and memory loss. He tells the story to her everyday but there are only small occasions where you see the spark in her eyes when she remembers who she is

What was my mum preparing?

Stuffed Portobello mushrooms with blue cheese
An easy starter for dinner parties or a simple meal for one served with some fresh crusty bread to mop up the juices.


Preparation method

  1. Preheat the oven to 200C/180C Fan/Gas 6.
  2. Put the portobello mushrooms on a baking tray. Divide the unsalted butter between each mushroom. Season with salt and pepper and put a sprig of fresh thyme in both the mushrooms. Bake for 10 minutes.
  3. Heat the olive oil in a frying pan, add the onion and garlic and fry until soft. Add the chopped mushroom stalks and pepper and cook until softened.
  4. Spoon the mixture into the baked mushrooms. Put the blue cheese on top and sprinkle breadcrumbs all over. Roast the mushrooms for a further 6 minutes, or until the top is golden and bubbling.
  5. Put the mushrooms on a serving plate, sprinkle over the chopped chives and serve.

#3 - The Lion King

See people would think that my mum would start preparing onions when Mufasa gets hurtled into the stampede and Simba tries to wake up his dad but it happens a lot earlier

It happens during I Just Can't Wait To Be King. Simba is so happy at this moment, but little does he know that his life is going to completely turn around

What was my mum preparing?

Potato latkes (Potato pancakes)
Latkes can be made with any variety of vegetable, but for most people, the potato will always be at the heart of things.


  • 1kg/2lb 4oz old or baking potatoes, peeled, soaked in cold water until needed
  • onion, peeled
  • 25g/1oz plain flour or fine matzoh meal
  • 1 free-range egg, beaten
  • salt and freshly ground white pepper
  • olive or vegetable oil, for frying
To serve

Preparation method

  1. For the latkes, finely grate the potatoes and onion and mix together.
  2. Place the grated potato and onion into a colander and squeeze out as much moisture as you can. Or roll up the potato and onion in a clean kitchen tea towel and wring well to extract the liquid.
  3. Mix the potato and onion with the flour, egg and salt and freshly ground white pepper.
  4. Heat the oil in a frying pan until moderately hot and then place heaped tablespoons of the mixture into the pan to shallow-fry. Lower the heat to medium, flatten each latke with the back of a spoon and fry for about five minutes on each side, turning over when the edges turn golden-brown. If the heat is too high, the latkes will become dark-brown on the outside before they are cooked inside.
  5. Remove the latkes from the pan and drain on brown paper bags (they absorb the oil, leave the latkes crisper and the latkes won't stick to the paper).
  6. Serve the latkes hot with soured cream and apple sauce.

#2 - The Butterfly Effect

The Butterfly Effect has Ashton Kutcher trying to right past wrongs, using his notebook. Somehow he is able to travel into the past using his diary entries

Sadly he keeps getting it wrong, and making the situation much worse for himself and others, including his girlfriend. He decides it's best if he just didnt meet her in the first place

He rewrites history and my mum deciding to start preparing dinner just as one of my favourite Oasis songs starts playing

It's even worse in the alternate ending, he decides it's best if he didnt even live at all and works out he can travel back using photos and videos, so travels back when he is still in his mums womb and starts strangling himself

This would be bad enough as it is normally, but there is an extra special version on the dvd where in the normal version it's just some song I didnt really notice, but the alternate language version had The Beatles - Real Love play over it

For some reason the onions had a particularly strong zephyr that day

What was my mum preparing?

Sage and onion tear and share bread
Tear and share these delicious sage and onion bread rolls - a perfect accompaniment to a warming soup.


Preparation method

  1. Heat 150ml/5fl oz water and the milk in a saucepan over a low heat until lukewarm.
  2. Sift the flour into a large mixing bowl and stir in the yeast, sugar and salt.
  3. Make a well in the centre and stir in the water and milk with a large wooden spoon. Gather into a ball then turn out onto a lightly floured surface and knead for 10 minutes.
  4. Place the dough in an oiled bowl and cover loosely with oiled cling film. Leave to rise in a warm place for 45-60 minutes or until doubled in size.
  5. Meanwhile, melt the butter and oil in a large non-stick frying pan and fry the onion and garlic over a very low heat for 10 minutes, or until softened.
  6. Scatter the chopped sage over the onions and cook for a further 2-3 minutes. Remove from the heat, season with lots of freshly ground black pepper and set aside to cool.
  7. When the dough has doubled in size, tip it back onto a floured surface and flatten with the palms of your hands. Spoon the onion mixture on top and knead for a couple of minutes until evenly incorporated. Sprinkle with a little extra flour if it becomes sticky.
  8. Divide the dough into eight and shape into neat balls by pulling the dough from the outside of the ball and pushing into the centre. Turn over with the ends underneath. Place the rolls in a circle on a large baking tray lined with greaseproof paper, making sure the dough balls are touching. Cover loosely with oiled cling film and leave to prove in a warm place for 45 minutes, or until doubled in size.
  9. Preheat the oven to 200C/180C (fan)/Gas 6.
  10. Brush the top of each roll lightly with milk and place a small sage leaf on top. Brush with more milk and bake in the centre of the oven for 20 minutes, or until risen and golden-brown. Transfer to a wire rack and leave to cool a little before serving.

#1 - Guardians of The Galaxy

At the beginning of the film Peter Quill has a chance to say goodbye to his mother, she gives him a present but we dont get to see what it is

She is dying of cancer and reaches out to Peter, but he doesn't want to face what is happening and runs away. Unfortunately he is kidnapped by some space pirates who were sent by his father to pick him up from Earth

Some stuff happens, he befriends a talking tree and a raccoon, and at one moment is faced with the image of his mother again, as he and his friends have to face their fears and work together to bring down the big bad guy

After this he finally opens the present his mum gave him all those years ago, she had prepared him a new mixtape, to prepare him for her death

What plays just really hits home to him, and we find out where the nickname "Starlord" came from

Listen baby, ain't no mountain high,
Ain't no valley low, ain't no river wide enough baby
If you need me call me, no matter where you are,
No matter how far; don't worry baby
Just call my name; I'll be there in a hurry
You don't have to worry

Oh baby there ain't no mountain high enough,
Ain't no valley low enough,
Ain't no river wide enough
To keep me from getting to you babe

What was my mum preparing?

I dunno, but she was asked to leave the cinema

So what films does your mum cut onions during?

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