Tuesday, 13 December 2016

Brads Top 10s - Cold Places

So it's that time of the year again where we wish for that precious white stuff around the holidays

We are just so used to our rain and grey weather in the UK and hope for Snow, but when we do get it we just can't cope

Roads are blocked
Traffic is brought to a standstill
We run out of road salt
Our little tuchas freezes off 
and our hands feel like ice

So with that in mind I though I'd take a look at my ten favourite cold places in media

Alternatively, you could check out the one I did back in July for Top 10 Hot Places

10. Star Wars
- Planet Hoth

We start off this list with the quintessential cold place in fiction

From the sequel to the original Star Wars, Empire Strikes Back was moodier, darker and most importantly colder and we certainly felt that in the opening scenes on the planet Hoth

The Empire finally catch up to the Rebels after a chase around the Galaxy and are attacked with giant walkers called AT-AT's which stands for All Terrain Armoured Transport


Maybe if I was staying at the Rebel base but then there's still risk of either the Empire showing up and ruining your day, or being attacked by a Wampa who have been known to get into the base and maul people

Plus if you get caught out in the cold and you only have your TaunTaun at hand?

You gotta slice that thing open and sleep in it's innards

That shit be nasty yo!

9. Frozen
- Queen Elsa's Castle

Queen Elsa of Arendelle discovers she has ice powers and at a party accidently hurts her sister

She runs away and builds a castle with her powers



It's a gorgeous ice crystal castle to stay in

It may be a tad cold but the Cold never bothered me that much really

8. South Park
- South Park

The show revolves around 4 boys - Kyle, Stan, Kenny and Cartman - and their bizarre adventures in the quaint town of South Park, Colorado


There's some pretty fucked up stuff going on in the town and universe

- Mr Hankey the Christmas Poo
- Taco's shitting ice cream
- David Blaine eating his own head
- Britney Spears shooting the top of her head off and releasing a new album

I think it would be best to avoid it

7. Doctor Who
- Oooooood Planet

The Doctor visits the Ood Planet with Donna Noble and discovers a disturbing secret

The Ood are actually born with their brain in their hands and are united by a hive mind and the humans who use them as slave cut the brain off and replace it by a translation orb

There is an Ood rebellion and everyone is freed
Yay!!! \o/



I certainly wouldn't go there before the rebellion

And no offense to an Ood but if I'm on vacation I do like to order the squid, might put me off a bit with those mouth thingies

6. The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask
- Mountain Village

In Majora's mask you visit this place several times, and is part of the quest to get THE BEST sword in the game



It certainly looks like a lovely little snowy cottage, I imagine with a lovely fireplace

The only trouble is the impending doom of the Moon hanging overheard and the surrounding areas are full of monsters

5. Futurama
- Pluto

Pluto in the 31st century is a very cold ice world on the edge of the Solar system, terraformed into a suitable environment for penguins. 

It is used by eco-nerds and environmentalists as a penguin habitat and harbours some other species from Earth that are adapted to cold climates, like orcas


I could maybe disguise myself as a Penguin like Bender did :D

And if you get cold?

Just put your hand between your buttocks
That's natures pocket!

4. Sonic The Hedgehog 3
- Ice Cap Zone

In Sonic The Hedgehog 3, his journey takes him to the Ice Cap zone which is the fifth zone he visits

Shooting from a cannon in the previous zone (Carnival Night) brings them here, with Sonic Snowboarding down the mountain and poor Tails hitting the side of a cliff :D


The Snowboarding would be pretty awesome

Too many Badniks, spikes and hazards though :P

3. Superman
- Fortress of Solitude

The Fortress of Solitude is a place where Supes can just chill out and relax, plus remind him a little of home

The design has varied over the years but there are two main factors normally associated with it

1. Located in the arctic
2. Full of various artifacts and memorobilia


I am rather clumsy, so I'd be too scared to walk around in there in case I trip into the Bottled City of Kandor or accidentally open up the Phantom Zone

Plus I would need immense strength to open up just the front door! Either a giant key like in the 50s and 60s comics, or a normal key made with dwarf star material

2. The Nightmare Before Christmas
- Christmas Town

Every year Jack Skellington does the same old Halloween routine for Halloween town and he gets pretty bored of it

He discovers Christmas Town and brings his own take to the holiday


It looks pretty damn good there, but maybe a bit too saccharinely sweet

1. Skyrim
- Winterhold College

Skyrim is the fifth game in the Elder Scrolls series and is set in an extremely snowy region, so I had to choose a certain place

So I went with Winterhold College

Here you learn about the uses of Magic, be it Destruction, Alteration, Conjuration and Enchanting

It's one of my favourite quests and activities in the game


It would be amazing to vacation there but I feel only as the Dohvakin aka The Dragonborn

All the shit you have to go through makes sense when you're one of the most powerful people in the land

If you're just visiting through as an NPC?

Not so much

You could be robbed (with a bucket on your head)

Set on fire

And worst of all.....

Shouted at

You may think thats okay but trust me, you don't want to be on the wrong side of the chosen one

So what's YOUR favourite Cold Place?

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